At South Park Elementary, Cartman rants at length over the results of the students' annual school physicals, thinking that teachers have posted a list of all the boys' penis sizes in the hall for everyone to see. Believing the results to be inaccurate (especially since he is at the bottom of the list), he measures every boy's penis and posts his own findings in the hall. He is soon called to Principal Victoria's office, where he learns that the first list actually showed how much every student had grown in height since the previous year's physical. To make matters worse, Cartman has found that his penis really is the smallest of all the boys in the school. At a consultation session with a psychiatrist, Cartman is tested to see how he deals with anger. While initially showing no emotion during the session when the psychiatrist tries to incite him into anger with fat jokes, Cartman silently uses an iPhone to send fake chat logs and a fake police report that indicate the psychiatrist was involved in an affair with a 14-year-old over the internet. The psychiatrist's wife is notified, calling her husband before committing suicide over the phone. Cartman then sternly replies to the psychiatrist by stating that he is not fat, just big-boned.
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