Modern Family Episode 3.04 Door to Door

SCORE! Luke bounces a basketball off Phil's head into the hoop for two points. If only they had caught the miraculous shot heard 'round the driveway on video. Luke wants to recreate the moment but Phil promised Claire he'd replace a bunch of light bulbs. Any future YouTube fame will have to wait.

Speaking of Claire, she wants the city to put up a stop sign at the dangerous intersection where she almost killed Phil during his morning speed-walk. She must present 50 signatures to the traffic committee. The entire family balks when she asks for help. They have semi-valid excuses like school stuff and the great light bulb replacement project. That doesn't stop Claire, who goes door-to-door to get those pesky signatures.

Phil never gets to the light bulbs. He's too busy getting whacked in the head with a basketball by his number one son. The camera is rolling this time, but the ball can't ever seem to find the net. This upsets Claire, who doesn't have a lot of luck in the petition department. She's even more furious when the kitchen lamp doesn't illuminate.

At the traffic committee meeting, Claire interrupts a birthday celebration for head honcho, Councilman Duane Bailey (guest star David Cross). The birthday boy is bummed because he didn't get an ice cream cake. Therefore, the 34 signatures Claire accumulated just aren't going to fly with him. Enter Haley and Alex with 20 more John Hancocks. Whoo-hoo! But Duane still gives Claire the brush-off. Boo hoo. Enter Phil Dunphy!

Phil and Luke arrive to show the board a little video titled Stop, In the Name of Life. It features that smooth-talking speaker salesman, Clive Bixby. Luke is in the flick, too. He plays an innocent lad who falls victim to a Clive-by auto accident. The story ends with Phil getting whacked in the face with a basketball. It's an unconventional ending, but perhaps that's what the filmmakers were going for.

Phil tells the board that the bottom line is if his wife wants a stop sign, she's getting a stop sign. Regarding the basketball video, the hits just keep on coming. And we're not just talking about the repeated blows to Phil's noggin. A montage of his repeated basketball beanings already has 78 views on YouTube. These aspiring filmmakers are well on their way to legendary status.

Manny needs to sell a bunch of wrapping paper for the drama club. Jay wants the kid to get out there to make some sales. They hit the streets enduring numerous door slams. Manny puts on his best puppy dog eyes to say the bar has been set too high in this family when it comes to being a great businessman. This little ego stroke has Jay offering to buy all the wrapping paper. What do you know? Manny's a pretty darn savvy salesman after all.

Cameron and Lily woke up in a French mood, so they decided to "whip up" some crepes in the kitchen. Mitchell wants to know when Cam intends to "wipe up" those same crepes. He suspects never. Cameron promises to clean up the kitchen after he takes Lily to school. As you may have guessed, that doesn't happen.

Gloria accidentally lets Stella loose outside. She ropes in Cam on a search for the wayward pooch. The big guy does his best Stanley Kowalski as his screams of "Stella" echo throughout the neighborhood. Not even Mitchell's irate phone call about the kitchen mess can make him break character. Their conversation ends with Mitchell promising that there's no way he's cleaning the kitchen, even though the mess is driving him crazy.

Stella the dog is found by a little girl. Her name is Blanche. Cam loves this. Gloria, however, is angry when Blanche tries to claim Stella as her own. The two of them get into a screaming contest. The winner by a yell: Gloria. As for Cameron Kowalski, he returns home to see that the mess is still there. When Mitch realizes Cam is grossed out, he knows that the big guy truly does wait it out until someone else cleans up.

This new info has Mitchell creating even a bigger mess which includes giving Lily a whipped cream princess hat. Mitch has made his point. Too bad it all happens at the exact moment the adoption agency sends a rep over for a home visit. If only they'd known she was coming. They would have tidied up a bit.