Frances (Sarah Jessica Parker) and Robert (Thomas Haden Church) - a middle-aged couple in the suburbs of New York City - try to figure out if their marriage is worth saving after a shocking event at their friend Diane's (Molly Shannon) 50th birthday party makes them take a hard look at their own lives.
Frances DuFresne applies moisturizer to her face post-shower when her husband of 17 years, Robert, walks into the bathroom holding a coffee can. Demanding equal time in the bathroom, Robert tells Frances he was forced to take a shit in the coffee can because she did not respond to his knocking. Completely unfazed, Frances barely acknowledges the absurdity of Robert's assertion and continues "doing her thing". Robert admits he only brought in the coffee can to make a point.
Robert loudly hums to the radio as he and Frances drive to their friend Diane's birthday party. Frances sharply turns off the radio, startling her oblivious husband.
"I think we can all agree, Diane has never looked her age. Until this year, sadly, when it all just kinda came crashing down on her." - Nick
At the party, Robert pitches business ideas to uninterested guests while Frances catches up with her friends Diane and Dallas. Diane, who has had a lot to drink and is mourning the recent passing of her dog, complains to Frances about her husband Nick. Nick delivers a caustic toast and bellows for the maid, who brings out a giant dog as Diane's present. Diane is not amused.
Diane dances her cares away as Robert watches the party from outside. Infuriated by her behavior, Nick pulls Diane aside. Robert watches their argument unfold as an enraged Diane tears through drawers until she finds a gun, which she points at Nick. Robert walks in the room and the gun goes off, narrowly missing him. Nick collapses on the floor, clutching his chest.
"I don't love you anymore. I want a divorce." - Frances
Nick and Diane are hauled away by EMS and the police, leaving Frances and Robert to pick up the pieces. Frances, jolted by the incident with Nick and Diane, realizes she no longer loves Robert and tells him so. In complete disbelief, Robert violently vomits.
The next morning, Frances wakes up to Robert - in last night's suit - watching her from the bedroom chair. "I went to a stripclub," he explains, "where there were strippers that were stripping. And they became nude." Frances does not respond the way Robert hopes, and when he tries to give her an orgasm, she rebuffs him.
Frances puts the kids, Tom and Lila, on the school bus and gets on the train to the city with Dallas. She confides she's in love with Julian, the man with whom she's been having an affair. Frances goes to his house and tells him she loves him and is leaving her husband for him; his response is less than enthusiastic.
"What we had was something very... something very private." - Julian
Smarting from the rejection, Frances returns home and sits down with Robert. He convinces her to give their marriage another shot, and she reluctantly agrees. They have sex. When Frances's phone rings, Robert locates it in the office and hands it to her. Spotting "J" on the screen, Frances passes it off as a "work thing".
After a hectic few days, Frances comforts a concerned Diane who is facing criminal charges. Frances agrees to take Hannah, the dog, to lighten Diane's load. Arriving home, dog in tow, Frances struggles with the key. From inside, Robert informs her he called "J" and wants her out of their lives.
Frances, frozen out, stands helpless on the stoop with the dog.
