Desperate Housewives Episode 5.16 Crime Doesn't Pay

Orson stops by the pizzeria's going-out-of-business sale to offer Tom moral support. He says he knows just what Tom's going through, but Tom points out that it's hardly the same, since Orson lost his dentist license after committing a crime. As soon as Tom's back is turned, Orson pockets a salt shaker that Tom had just told him he didn't intend to sell as it had belonged to his grandfather.

To celebrate Mike moving in with her, Katherine sends out invitations for a housewarming party. Bree, Gabrielle and Edie assume Susan isn't invited, and are shocked to learn that she's planning to attend. Edie wants to know why the two aren't pulling each other's hair. Susan admits she was upset to hear about it at first, but now is happy that Mike has moved on with someone she considers "a true friend."

Gabrielle doesn't know what to say when Brad, Carlos's boss, uses her as an alibi after his wife, Maria, spots him with his mistress Sheila. Brad expects to get his money's worth out of the $30,000 bribe, Gabrielle counters by saying she wants Carlos to have a week off next week month and since another date with his mistress depends on Gaby's cooperation, Brad caves.

Bree finds the salt shaker Orson stole, which clearly says "Scavo's" and Orson fibs that he must have accidentally put it in his pocket. He complains that Tom was "dismissive," when he stopped by to commiserate and says it would serve Tom right if he kept the shaker.

Susan lends her punch bowl to Katherine and happens to mention that a painting of MIke's that Katherine has displayed on the mantelpiece ls one she painted, of the beach she and Mike went to on their honeymoon.

Her friends are still skeptical of her truce with Katherine, but at the party, Susan boasts that Katherine loves her painting. But when she goes to show it off, the painting's been replaced by a photo of Mike and Katherine. Katherine says she accidentally dropped it and broke the glass, and no one believes her. Susan sneaks out to the garage, where she finds the painting, perfectly intact. When Mike comes out, she shows it to him and he goes to confront Katherine loudly enough for everyone to overhear their argument.

Lynette presents with Bree for a check for $20,000, repaying the loan Bree had given her. Bree asks how Tom's doing and says that her publisher is looking for someone to do in-house advertising. She invites the publisher, Bruce, and Lynette and Tom over for dinner.

Edie and Dave are at the store, buying more liquor for Katherine's party, when they run into a priest who tells Dave, "I didn't know you'd moved back to the neighborhood." Dave sends Edie off to get vermouth while he quietly tells the priest to leave him alone. Dave says he barely knows the priest, but Edie is sure he's lying.

Brad wants Gaby to take Maria shopping so he can arrange another rendezvous. Carlos is tired of the coverup and wants to rat Brad out, but Gaby is horrified that he'll lose his job and the huge bonus. She comes up with a plan to make someone else spill the news: Sheila. After posing as a client, she tells Sheila to stop seeing Brad. It's news to Sheila that Maria's pregnant as she thinks Brad hasn't had sex with his wife in more than a year.

Tom doesn't want to go to the dinner, so Lynette tells him that it's a setup to meet Bree's publisher. Tom is furious, insisting that he's going to find a job on his own, but Lynette asks him to at least hear the guy out.

Orson takes an instant dislike to Bree's publisher when the man dictates an idea for a new children's book, about a kid with a "goofy name" like Orson, into the personal tape recorder he always carries. Tom's brusque indifference to Bruce makes the evening even more uncomfortable.

Noticing how excited Lynette is by the job, as opposed to Tom, Bruce says, "Too bad you don't have any advertising experience," and she admits that she has 12 years' worth. When Lynette starts pitching herself, Tom takes her aside and chews her out for stealing "his" job. Tom starts selling himself but Lynette isn't done trying to land the job for herself. They badmouth each other to the point where Bruce doesn't want to hire either of them.

Bruce gets in one final insult at Orson's expense when, looking right at Orson, he dictates, "Idea: Woman who is married to a gay man and doesn't know it." Bree sees Orson pocket Bruce's tape recorder and follows him into the kitchen, where she finds the recorder and returns it. Bree takes Orson to task for his petty theft and he says that when he was a dentist, no one spoke to him the way they do now. She warns Orson that it better never happen again. But when she leaves the room, Orson steals one of the earrings she's just hung up.

Lynette and Tom do a post-mortem on dinner and are able to laugh about their bad behavior. Tom asks if she really wants to go back to work and she says she does. "I did my thing for seven years and now it's your turn," he says and she hugs him.

Mike forces Katherine to apologize to Susan, even though Katherine insists that Susan's the one to blame for ruining her party. Susan wants to know why she's the "bad guy" after Katherine was so petty and Katherine tearfully explains how hard it is for her, having Susan live right across the street. "Do I have to have a painting of your honeymoon too? I knew I wasn't going to get a clean slate with Mike. I just wanted a clean mantelpiece." Susan takes the painting from Mike, claiming that she wants it back. Mike is puzzled but Katherine smiles in gratitude.

Edie tracks down the priest and questions him about Dave's past, since it's such a mystery to her. The priest insists that he can't help her, but calls her "Mrs. Dash,'" inadvertently giving her an important piece of the puzzle.

Brad confronts Gaby about having talked to Sheila. Gabrielle announces that the deal is over, "I'm not covering for your stupid little fling anymore," so he tells her Carlos is fired.

Carlos congratulates Gaby for doing the right thing. The phone rings: It's Maria, she needs their help. They rush over and find Brad dead on the kitchen floor with a knife sticking out of his back!