Desperate Housewives Episode 3.09 Beautiful Girls

Gabrielle is blue since her divorce from Carlos has been finalized, so her personal shopper, Vern, tells her that she should join him in coaching contestants in the Miss Snowflake beauty pageant for girls 8-12.

She reluctantly agrees but immediately regrets her decision when she sees that the girls are all quite plain or overweight. Vern tells her the girls really need her so she stays and gives them a demonstration on how to walk the catwalk. When one of the girls, Isabel, shows no confidence, she gives her a pep talk that has her walking with her head up high.

She bonds with all the girls, even springing for pizza for lunch. One chubby girl asks if you have to be skinny to be a model, and Gabrielle answers, "Of course," and then unthinkingly proceeds to tell them all the model's tricks -- purging, smoking, laxatives -- to avoid gaining weight. After she leaves, the girls all put their half-eaten pieces of pizza back.

Excited by her new protégées, she buys them all custom makeup kits, but Vern tells her that girls have started practicing all the bad habits she mentioned to them. The moms have forbidden her to see the girls because she's a bad influence.

She shows up anyway and begs for a second chance, saying that the girls have helped her more than she's ever helped them. The moms, who are mostly overweight like their daughters, refuse until she promises them access to a miracle European diet pill that isn't sold in America.

Susan asks Ian why they don't ever sleep over at his house, so they finally go to his place instead of hers. In the morning, she's rudely awoken by the butler, Rupert, who's still devoted to Jane and makes it clear he disapproves of her relationship with Ian. Her attempts to butter him up fail miserably. Ian asks Rupert to clear a drawer for Susan's things andthe butler steers her to an unused closet down the hall from the master bedroom where their cat died! She tells Rupert he needs to respect her and he points out that Ian never told him about her and that Ian is just as devoted to Jane since he's kept all her things just as they were.

Susan tells Ian that she feels like he's not letting her in anymore and he admits that letting her in feels like shutting Jane out. She tells him it doesn't have to be that way and he himself clears a drawer in Jane's bureau for her. The next time she's over, she pointedly uses her new drawer in front of Rupert.

Lynette and Tom go to the police with their suspicions that Art is a pedophile but their evidence -- a basement full of toys and pictures of young boys in bathing suits -- isn't incriminating enough since Art is a swimming instructor.

Art returns the plate that held the cake Lynette left and asks her what she thought of the décor and she claims that she didn't go past the living room. Art realizes she's lying when Parker asks if he can play the pinball machine again.

Mike is unnerved by the constant police surveillance and tells Detective Ridley to leave him alone. Carlos takes advantage of Mike's amnesia to pretend they were best friends so that he can crash with Mike while his new condo is being remodeled. Tom also takes the opportunity to sneak away to watch football over at Mike's. Mike asks if he was every violent before and answer that no one really knew him that well.

Lynette forbids the boys to play outside without her knowledge, but when she dozes off and Parker goes outside, she immediately heads to Art's and runs to the basement, which is now completely empty. She asks him where all the toys are and he says he donated them to a children's hospital. She asks if he donated the photos too. He insists she spell out what she's accusing him of while she continues to comb the house for Parker. Art's wheelchair-bound sister points out Parker across the street, with Tom. He'd gone over to Mike's to be with his dad.

Tom tells Lynette she can't keep accusing Art without any proof or he'll sue them. He says he thinks that she's still shaken up from being shot and that maybe she should talk to someone. He has a therapist in mind, but instead she talks to the neighborhood gossip, Mrs. McCluskey, who immediately tells all her friends about Art. Just as predicted, Orson's mother, Gloria, has made their lives a nightmare by moving in with them. She complains bitterly about the bland, doctor-approved diet Bree is serving her and says it's worse than the home, where she could at least bribe the guards. But she finds a way around Bree by bribing Andrew to get her wine, as Bree soon discovers. A drunken Gloria reveals Orson's secret: He was cheating on Alma with Monique. Bree tells Orson that it's over since of the two women he loved before her, one disappeared and one was killed. He tries to explain but she's already packed his things and tells him to leave.Mike decides to get rid of the incriminating toolbox in the middle of the night, but Detective Ridley is there to stop him.