The rapper, who lsot his brother in 2013, eventually could reckon with the pain after having a few words with himself. "So, what happened was, in that very moment, I had to say, 'Waka, that's selfish,'
- Sep 3, 2022
AceShowbiz - Waka Flocka Flame has gotten candid about his feelings in the wake of his brother's death. The "Hard in the Pain" emcee, who lost his younger brother and fellow rapper Kayo Redd to suicide in 2013, admitted that he initially couldn't deal with grief.
The 36-year-old shared his story when sitting down with HipHopDX. "Honestly, it created some selfish personalities," he first explained. "I was drinking more, I was turning up. A lot of what I was doing in my relationship, I was drunk."
"A lot of stuff she would tell me, I never remembered. I'm not even going to exaggerate. My brother died, and I just couldn't deal," Tammy Rivera's ex added. "I was just thinking, I'm like, 'Bro, you're not ill. You're tripping.' "
Waka, whose real name is Juaquin James Malphurs, confessed that he "was angry as well." He then noted, "But, again, I had to look at it from a different perspective. I was looking at it with an evil lens. I had to look at it from a perspective of God. Backwards of 'evil' is 'live.' I had to live."
Waka went on to say that eventually could reckon with the pain after having a few words with himself. "So, what happened was, in that very moment, I had to say, 'Waka, that's selfish,' " he elaborated. "My brother is gone. My dad died. Seeing my father skinny as s**t … he had cancer."
"I know the feeling, do you see what I'm saying? I lost both of my little brothers," he continued. "One of my brother's birthday is a day after mine. I lost a lot of people, but I'm not God, yo. I'm not. I can't blame God for their death, no matter how spontaneous or what health issues they had."
Waka said literature, meditation and fitness have helped him to get his emotions in check. "I've got this book - I forgot the name of it - but it taught me the art of release," he divulged. "You have to learn how to release. You have to. It's hard. I had to let it go, man. I had to bury my little brothers."
"It hurt me so bad I didn’t even go to their funerals," the rhymer lamented. "I could not see my last little brother; I could not see his face like I seen my other little brother's face. Get this s**t out my head. I can't just remember him as being human no more because I seen that. Now, the fact that I never seen my brother's corpse, that's a crazy thing to say, but I don't want to see any body without a spirit in it."
