The 'Yummy' hitmaker reveals his first year of marriage with wife Hailey Baldwin was rocked by the lack of trust because of his past mental health problems.
- Apr 14, 2021
AceShowbiz - Justin Bieber struggled through his first year of marriage to model Hailey Bieber because he couldn't let go of his trust issues.
The "Sorry" hitmaker tied the knot with Hailey in a New York City courthouse in September 2018, just two months after they became engaged while on vacation in the Bahamas, and Justin admits he was always eager to settle down.
"I just felt like that was my calling. Just to get married and have babies and do that whole thing," he told GQ magazine.
However, life as newlyweds didn't go quite as smoothly as they had hoped as Justin's past mental health problems, relating to the pressures of life in the spotlight, caused him to walk "on eggshells" around Hailey.
"The first year of marriage was really tough because there was a lot going back to the trauma. There was just a lack of trust," he confessed.
"There was (sic) all these things that you don't want to admit to the person that you're with, because it's scary. You don't want to scare them off by saying, 'I'm scared.' "
The singer credits Hailey's unwavering support and his faith in God with helping to pull the couple through the rough time and now the stars are enjoying "building these memories" and strengthening their bond before "eventually" having kids.
"It's beautiful that we have that to look forward to," he smiled. "Before, I didn't have that to look forward to in my life. My home life was unstable. I didn't have a significant other. I didn't have someone to love. I didn't have someone to pour into."
It was the lack of a supportive partner at the time which led Justin to turn to drugs to cope with his mental health woes, which hit rock bottom in 2017.
"There was a sense of still yearning for more," he said. "It was like I had all this success and it was still like: I'm still sad, and I'm still in pain... And so for me, the drugs were a numbing agent to just continue to get through."
The pop superstar reveals his substance abuse became so bad, members of his security team would sneak into his bedroom at night to check he was still alive. "I just lost control of my vision for my career," Justin shared.
Now, by opening up about his dark times, Justin hopes to help others who may also be struggling, and after making peace with his own troubled youth, he finally feels free.
"I have a wife who I adore, who I feel comforted by. I feel safe," the 27 year old declared. "I feel like my relationship with God is wonderful. I have this outpouring of love that I want to be able to share with people."
"It's just rewarding to be all that you were designed to be. I believe that, at this point in my life, I'm right where I'm supposed to be, doing what I believe that God wants me to do. And there's nothing more fulfilling."
