The diva shares that she initially thought that she was just having 'a severe sleep disorder,' but later she realized that 'it wasn't normal insomnia.'
- Apr 12, 2018
AceShowbiz - Having lived in the public eye for 30 years, Mariah Carey's life is not all rainbows and butterflies. The superstar recently opened up about her being diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
The "All I Want for Christmas Is You" hitmaker revealed her struggle in this week's PEOPLE cover story that was published online on Wednesday, April 11. She was first diagnosed in 2001, the time when she was hospitalized for a physical and mental breakdown.
"I didn't want to believe it," Mariah admitted. She went on saying that "the hardest couple of years I've been through" forced her to seek treatment recently.
"Until recently I lived in denial and isolation and in constant fear someone would expose me," she said. "It was too heavy a burden to carry and I simply couldn't do that anymore. I sought and received treatment, I put positive people around me and I got back to doing what I love -- writing songs and making music."
The singing diva added that her medication works well for her. "It's not making me feel too tired or sluggish or anything like that. Finding the proper balance is what is most important," she shared.
Mariah also added that she initially thought that she was just having "a severe sleep disorder." She explained, "But it wasn't normal insomnia and I wasn't lying awake counting sheep. I was working and working and working ... I was irritable and in constant fear of letting people down."
"It turns out that I was experiencing a form of mania. Eventually I would just hit a wall. I guess my depressive episodes were characterized by having very low energy," she added. "I would feel so lonely and sad -- even guilty that I wasn't doing what I needed to be doing for my career."
As for why she decided to come forward with the story, she said, "I'm just in a really good place right now, where I'm comfortable discussing my struggles with bipolar II disorder." She continued, "I’m hopeful we can get to a place where the stigma is lifted from people going through anything alone. It can be incredibly isolating. It does not have to define you and I refuse to allow it to define me or control me."
