In an extract from 'Fitter. Calmer. Stronger', the 'Burn' hitmaker admits that fame 'felt like like being 'strapped to a space shuttle,' and recalls ending up in hospital after a friend's father passed away.
- Aug 16, 2021
AceShowbiz - Singer Ellie Goulding suffered a series of panic attacks as she struggled to cope with fame and an addiction to exercise.
The "Burn" hitmaker has opened up about her mental health challenges in her new book "Fitter. Calmer. Stronger", revealing she ended up in hospital after one panic attack when a friend's father passed away.
Ellie was also eaten up by feelings of depression and not being good enough at the height of her fame, explaining her lowest days were "ridiculously low," and she often felt "complete euphoria and utter terror" within the same week.
In an extract from her book, obtained by The Sun, the new mum wrote, "I often felt as if I was failing because when I felt down I wasn't being productive... But even if I write something I love, I can't always rely on it to make me feel good. I often write my best songs when I'm feeling miserable."
The singer admits fame felt like like being "strapped to a space shuttle" as she had to make TV and red carpet appearances and often had to travel to three different countries in one day.
Her panic attacks "began to build slowly," and she reveals she experienced one on a photoshoot just ahead of a live TV show, which she admits she has never watched, convinced she would be able to see the terror in her eyes.
In the book Ellie recalls checking in to hospital after one bad panic attack when a close friend's father passed away.
The star has credited therapy, including cognitive behavioral therapy, with helping her control her mental health issue, but she then developed an addiction to fitness, which initially became her "sanctuary."
But what started out as 30 minutes of exercise a day turned into her "prison," and she used work-out sessions as a way to distract herself from how she felt.
Ellie's new book, "Fitter. Calmer. Stronger", will be released on September 2.
