The 'Burn' singer opens up on her struggle with self-esteem, saying she's not good, smart, or funny enough so she turns to alcohol and forces herself to fake it.
- December 4, 2019
AceShowbiz - Ellie Goulding drank alcohol in a bid to make herself seem "more funny, or interesting."
The 32-year-old singer opened up about her relationship with drink during an interview on TV presenter Fearne Cotton's "Happy Place" podcast, telling her, "I had to be a fake person to deal with the surreal situation I was in. Usually for me it involved alcohol. I assumed I couldn't be good enough, smart, funny, or crazy enough to be with certain people without it. I thought drinking would at least make me a bit more funny, or interesting."
The time of day wouldn't affect whether or not Ellie drank, with the "Burn" singer admitting she even had a tipple before early morning appearances - such as on Radio 1's Live Lounge.
"Live Lounges used to be most nerve-wracking, I even drank before those, I swear to God," she continued. "I would say, 'Right, I've got to drink this morning because I've got this interview and I don't really know how to answer the questions, because I don't really know who I am any more.' "
However, Ellie insisted she was never dependent on alcohol, adding, "I wasn't an alcoholic. I could go months without a drink, too."
Another thing the British pop star struggled with was managing her anger issues. She had turned to therapy in a bid to keep her temper under control, but hadn't found anything that worked until she met her now-husband, art dealer Caspar Jopling.
"When I met Caspar, this anger thing just went away," she smiled. "At first it didn't. I did that thing we all do when we first meet someone you really like and you... don't possibly show any of your bad traits. With Caspar I instantly felt calmer."
Ellie and Caspar married in August.
