AceShowbiz - %cKelly Clarkson% may gain a lot of weight, but she is living her life now. In a recent interview, the first "American Idol" winner opened up about the darkest time in her career, admitting that she wanted to commit suicide that time.
"When I was really skinny, I wanted to kill myself," Kelly told Attitude. "I was miserable, like inside and out, for four years of my life. But no one cared, because aesthetically you make sense."
After winning the first season of "American Idol" back in 2002, Kelly made her name famous as she released huge hits such as "Since U Been Gone" and "Behind These Hazel Eyes" and earned platinum plagues. However, it also brought a lot of pressures for her. Many people forced her to lose weight so she could be as skinny as her fellow pop stars, including %cBritney Spears% and %cChristina Aguilera%.
The "Because of You" hitmaker went on sharing her story, saying that being skinny was the darkest time of her life and she thought of nothing but quitting. "It was a very dark time for me. I thought the only way out was quitting," Kelly added. "I like wrecked my knees and my feet because all I would do is put in headphones and run. I was at the gym all the time."
It was during the promotion of "My December" when Kelly realized that she needed to change her habits and mentality. "There's a song on 'My December' called 'Sober'," "The Voice" coach said. "There's this line 'picked the weeds but kept the flowers' and I just live my life by that because you are who you surround yourself with."
She added that she had a lot of great people who helped her get out of negative surroundings. "I was around some really negative people," Kelly told the magazine. "I got out of it because I had a lot of great people there too. It was a case of turning around, facing them and walking toward the light."
Kelly will release her new album "Meaning of Life" on October 27. Ahead of the release, the "Love So Soft" singer shared a preview of the effort, which includes 14 tracks, on October 23.