"The Brand New Testament" begins with one simple conceit: God exists! He lives in Brussels and he's a real bastard, a petty tyrant to his wife and daughter. His son is known well; JC managed to escape his father's grasp and live among us, getting himself killed in the process.

But God has a daughter, too. Ea is ten years old and has had enough of her father using humanity as his playthings. When she spies the right opportunity, she hacks into his computer and leaks to the entire world via text message their inevitable date of death.

What follows is Jaco Van Dormael's witty and eccentric answer to the loaded question: what would you do if you knew exactly how much time you had left to live?