Parks and Recreation Episode 7.03 William Henry Harrison

Desperate times call for desperate measures - and Leslie Knope is desperate and determined to bring a new national park to the outskirts of Pawnee. With the failure of her gambit to have the land zoned non-commercial (no thanks to you, councilman Jamm), Leslie searches for anything that might tip the scales over rival Gryzzl.

A string of visitors with long-shot ideas comes through the door: crazies who believe it's sacred ground to be held for the return of an alien god, a passionate myrmecologist (i.e. an ant man) who predicts development would lead to the loss of the Indiana brown ant population in 200,000 years, and a drifter who wants to build a park he calls Disneyland.

Finally she strikes pay dirt when Bill Haggerty of the Pawnee Historical Society appears with some exciting news. The Newport land appears to have once housed a hunting lodge owned by President William Henry Harrison, ninth president of the U.S. There's not much left at the site, save a few foundation and chimney rocks, but Leslie hatches a plan from the rubble. If she can tie the proposed parkland to Indiana favorite son Harrison, she may be able to get it set aside for historical preservation. She plans a press conference.

Off she heads with her staff to Grouseland, Harrison's home when he was governor of the Indiana Territory. The museum inside is filled with a few marginal artifacts from the leader as well as a contemporary exhibit of "Other Things that Were Famous for a Month" (a nod to Harrison's one-month tenure as president). April loves the mindlessness of the museum so much she wants to get a job there as curator (she's going through a career crisis). Alas, all the positions in the museum are voluntary.

Ben has his own business to attend to. To enable the Newport land to be sold, he must have a signed point of sale agreement, a document that must be signed by both Leslie and Ron and then be notarized. Ben wants them to sign together, but Leslie refuses to be in the same room with Ron. Terry jumps in: as a recently certified notary, he can witness and certify the signings individually. Leslie signs, and Terry and Ben head to Ron's office, where Ron prints his signature - and pumps Terry for details on Leslie's upcoming pitch.

Gryzzl's also trying to find an edge. Roscoe Santangelo, vice president of Cool New Shizz, calls Donna, Tom and Ron in to explain that he wants a celebrity to front their pitch. Ron demurs, but Tom and Donna know that a sexy spokeperson/minority owner could make all the difference. And they also know just the right notable: celebrity lifestyle icon Annabel Porter, founder of Bloosh, the ultimate lifestyle blog and boutique.

At Bloosh, Tom and Donna are star-struck by Annabel. Ron's nonplussed, but knows that a celebrity might be just the mindless advantage Gryzzl needs to secure the land. After some prodding from Donna, Annabel explains what's in: asymmetrical overalls, angora toothbrushes, locally sourced Italian flip-flops and milk from cows ($60 a gallon and sold out). The endorsement deal is done, but Annabel inadvertently signs the point of sale document Ron had with him, making it now invalid.

It's time for a public hearing on the Newport land. Leslie's commandeered multiple items from the Harrison museum (including a 10-foot-diameter campaign ball) and enlisted a local string band (the Jugg or Nots) to liven up the presentation. She's also tracked down Zachary Harrison, local living link to the president. He's an ordinary guy, but Leslie implores him to take the podium and act presidential.

Ron and company have caught wind of Leslie's press conference and begin setting up a counter-conference on the other side of the hotel ballroom. As Zachary Harrison fumbles at the stage and the string band plays a lilting tune filled with historical lyrics (for which Leslie provides running color commentary), the audience's attention is suddenly diverted. With flashing lights, smoke and a thumping beat, Tom Haverford belittles Leslie's old-timey pitch and intros Annabel. The maven takes the stage, backed by sexy dancers and begins spewing Grzzylspeak: "Come with me as we binge watch the future!"

As the crowd files out, Leslie glares at Ron. They trade barbs until Ben appears with a new copy of the point of sale agreement. He's desperate for them to sign, but Leslie refuses. It becomes a shouting match, Leslie hurtling brickbats at Ron about his stubbornness and stupid name. Ron returns fire, citing her unreasonableness after the Morningstar incident and then delivers the lowest of blows. "You're not that good at scrapbooking," he declares. Leslie is mortified. The two former friends, now bitter foes, storm off in opposite directions.

Terry, Tom, Ben, Donna, April and Andy wonder when - or whether - Ron and Leslie will ever reconcile. Perhaps if they could just get them in a room together? Ben approaches Leslie in her office and makes a too-tempting offer: if Leslie will meet Ron and sign the point of sale document, he will let her name their triplets Ruth, Bader and Ginsburg. She agrees.

Ben leads Leslie over to Ron's office and lets her in via the key-card-controlled door. The moment she's safely inside the door, Ben locks the door, sealing the two adversaries inside. They both demand to be let out, but Ben explains that the door will not be opened until the two of them have made peace. Ron and Leslie shout simultaneously, "Nooooooo!"