Modern Family Episode 2.12 Our Children, Ourselves

Mitchell runs into his old high school girlfriend, Tracy (guest star Mary Lynn Rajskub). There's lots of tension in the air. That's probably because these two hooked up in the nurse's office at the 10-year reunion bash. After that, Mitchell never returned any of Tracy's many phone calls.

Being blown off may not be the only reason Tracy is ticked. Mitchell catches a glimpse of the back of a short, red-haired fellow chatting with her. Judging by his height, Mitch figures him to be about eight. The timing would be just about right to suggest that he could be his son. Cameron takes this news in stride. NOT!

Eventually, Cam calms down and tells Mitchell that he's fine if the kid is his. So, the boys head over to Tracy's place to meet the mystery redhead. His name is Bobby and Tracy doesn't quite understand why Mitchell wants to see him. Nevertheless, she calls Bobby into the room so her old boyfriend can shake hands with her new, diminutive husband. Tracy obviously has a thing for redheads of all sizes! We're just wondering if Bobby will enjoy the Little Slugger baseball glove our boys brought him.

Phil and Claire worry that Alex is under too much pressure to get good grades. She's in constant competition with a kid in her class named Sanjay. Phil and Claire try to convince her that it's okay to ease up. Surprisingly, Alex agrees to do so after getting the second-best grade in the class. She says, "Sanjay's dad's a surgeon, his mom's a professor. I can't compete with that. I'll just have to do the best I can with what I was given."

Phil and Claire are worried that Alex thinks they aren't intelligent people. Sure they share a fondness for incredibly cheesy movies, but it doesn't mean they're not all that bright, right? When Phil and Claire run into Sanjay's folks at the movies, they follow them into their theater to see a critically-acclaimed foreign film. What they were hoping to see was a 3D horror flick called Croctopus. It's one of the best half-crocodile/half-octopus movies ever made.

Phil can't take the snoozefest of an artsy French film. He ditches Claire to catch the rest of Croctopus. When both movies end, Phil finds his wife asleep in her theater seat. Claire's bummed that she couldn't hang in for the duration of the art film. Phil assures her that it doesn't mean they're dumb. They have street smarts. This becomes evident when they show Sanjay's dad how to validate his parking ticket. There's more good news when Phil tells Claire that the Croctopus laid eggs at the end of the movie. Can't wait for the sequel!

Jay tells Gloria he does NOT want to have dinner with Mike and Stephanie Hoffman, two people they met on vacation. In other words, the Hoffmans are complete strangers. Nevertheless, they all meet up for a meal where Jay bluntly says they shouldn't try to force a friendship that isn't really there. He suggests they all just go their separate ways. That'll be hard to do since Gloria invited the Hoffmans to stay at their place for the night.

As you can imagine, Gloria is furious with Jay. She convinces Mike and Stephanie to stick around after telling them that her hubby isn't always right in the head. Jay eventually realizes that he put his wife in a difficult position when he made his little speech at dinner the other night.

Jay apologizes to Mike and Stephanie. They are more than understanding, especially given Jay's current mental state. He's even spilling water all down his shirt whenever he takes a drink. Could have something to do with the fact that he's using Manny's dribble glass. Those things are always great tension-breakers.