Dancing with the Stars Episode 8.16

I don't know about you, but I've been looking forward to this episode all season. Why? DanceCenter is back! I'll admit I haven't seen all of them, but the ones I have seen have microscopically enriched my life in a way I didn't know I needed. Can we just have an all DanceCenter episode? Because I can do without the guests and encore. Speaking of encore, the streak is broken! Melissa gets the encore slot with her samba. She's stocked up on the double-sided tape this time. No more under-boob.

Recap time: Oh, Ty! I'm going to miss you when you're gone. "I could tell by the look on her face mommy like," he snickers of his hip-swiveling solo for Jewel. Get him on DanceCenter. Seriously. Lil' Kim say she's happy with her performances, but Derek looks completely peeved. If the bubbly Houghs are deflated, you know it ain't good. Melissa doesn't think there's a dance out there that wasn't flawless? You're too kind. No wonder you weren't a good match for Jason.

DanceCenter

It's back! Seriously, how amazing would it be if Ty joined the panel? Anyhow, he's first up:

Ty, who's apparently made of wood and nearly eight feet tall on a bull, is defying mathematical odds by committing more than 100 percent. Bedazzled and dipped in pink, Kenny appreciates that the show is rewarding poor dancing, which Len calls robotic. Cue Terminator-esque bot.

Next is Kim, she of the lil' height, weight and shoe size and owner of 800 wigs. She does have one huge asset, Kenny points out, as opposed to college-aged Lil' Jerry Rice. Ouch. (By the way, "rear" is not appropriate for this family show, in Kenny's eyes, but Jaime Cullum crooning about cocaine is.)

"Lil'"-er than Lil' Kim is, of course, Shawn, who's beyond adorable as we all know, but is stuck with nutso Mark. They're nuts for each other, of course, like chipmunks! Shawn actually does look like a chipmunk. Her voice is also, like, a nozzle of helium away from chipmunk-nese.

Melissa, at pretty height and weight, has endured so much pain and mistreatment on TV... from Tony. Bastard laughed at her injury! But who cares when she put on, clearly, the best performance yet with her jive. "Excellent use of denim," Jerry says. You mean, lack thereof. There was a missed opportunity here not to call out the Crest Whitestrips twins out on their resemblance.

Last but not least, Gilles, who will get naked at the drop of a hat, gets grilled. Kenny hates the French and the fact that Gilles is prostituting himself, you know, flaunting what he doesn't have. Which is pasty, ghost-white skin and/or a cobra chest tattoo. We all can't be perfect.

First safe couple:

Gilles & Cheryl (He shrieks... and the hairs on Mark's head stand up.)

Pick a Pro

Afton DelGrosso & Cody Linley: Samba

Cody says Afton is like Julianne. (You mean you wish she was Julianne!) I don't really remember much of Cody from last season, but he's looking pretty awesome here. There's still something not-a boy, not-yet-a-man about him, but he's no longer looking like a teen Ellen DeGeneres, so that's a good thing, right? He's rocking the moves and has energy to spare. Surprise, surprise. The choreography is also pretty awesome and Afton's definitely not like Julianne. Why? She's not doing all the dancing. Len thinks she's a good teacher. Bruno likes that she made Cody sell himself. Carrie Ann loves her youthful energy.

Mayo Alanen & Lisa Rinna: Quickstep

Mayo's never worked with a celebrity before, while Lisa's got to get used to Mayo's tall body. I've never seen Lisa dance before, but she looks somewhat decent here, especially for someone who hasn't been on the show for a few years. Mayo's definitely showcasing her, uh, assets. Raise your hand if you haven't picked up Playboy. They seem off in a couple of places, but it's a fun little number. Bruno likes that he made the most out of what he had in Lisa. No comment. Carrie Ann thinks they got out of control a little. Len loves the ambition.

Anna Demidova & Maurice Greene: Tango

Maurice picked a dance he'd never done before to see how Anna would teach someone who's never been exposed to it. I like the way he thinks. That's why he's an Olympic champ. Maurice looks pretty good here and maybe even better than when he was with Cheryl. I remember him being inconsistent last season, never quite getting there. (Obviously, since he was eliminated.) But now he looks really suave and the moves are nice and crisp. She definitely accomplished what Maurice challenged her to do and for that, I think she should get the pro spot. Carrie Ann loves the beautiful lines. Len thinks she was the best of the night. Bruno calls her a miracle worker. I would say Cheryl's offended, but Gilles has already taken her somewhere Maurice never did. Backstage, Sam asks the million-dollar question: "What did you find it went with - how'd you find it went with your first chance?" Say wha?!?

Next two safe couples:

Melissa & Tony

Shawn & Mark

I don't know about you, but I've been looking forward to this episode all season. Why? DanceCenter is back! I'll admit I haven't seen all of them, but the ones I have seen have microscopically enriched my life in a way I didn't know I needed. Can we just have an all DanceCenter episode? Because I can do without the guests and encore. Speaking of encore, the streak is broken! Melissa gets the encore slot with her samba. She's stocked up on the double-sided tape this time. No more under-boob.

Recap time: Oh, Ty! I'm going to miss you when you're gone. "I could tell by the look on her face mommy like," he snickers of his hip-swiveling solo for Jewel. Get him on DanceCenter. Seriously. Lil' Kim say she's happy with her performances, but Derek looks completely peeved. If the bubbly Houghs are deflated, you know it ain't good. Melissa doesn't think there's a dance out there that wasn't flawless? You're too kind. No wonder you weren't a good match for Jason.

DanceCenter

It's back! Seriously, how amazing would it be if Ty joined the panel? Anyhow, he's first up:

Ty, who's apparently made of wood and nearly eight feet tall on a bull, is defying mathematical odds by committing more than 100 percent. Bedazzled and dipped in pink, Kenny appreciates that the show is rewarding poor dancing, which Len calls robotic. Cue Terminator-esque bot.

Next is Kim, she of the lil' height, weight and shoe size and owner of 800 wigs. She does have one huge asset, Kenny points out, as opposed to college-aged Lil' Jerry Rice. Ouch. (By the way, "rear" is not appropriate for this family show, in Kenny's eyes, but Jaime Cullum crooning about cocaine is.)

"Lil'"-er than Lil' Kim is, of course, Shawn, who's beyond adorable as we all know, but is stuck with nutso Mark. They're nuts for each other, of course, like chipmunks! Shawn actually does look like a chipmunk. Her voice is also, like, a nozzle of helium away from chipmunk-nese.

Melissa, at pretty height and weight, has endured so much pain and mistreatment on TV... from Tony. Bastard laughed at her injury! But who cares when she put on, clearly, the best performance yet with her jive. "Excellent use of denim," Jerry says. You mean, lack thereof. There was a missed opportunity here not to call out the Crest Whitestrips twins out on their resemblance.

Last but not least, Gilles, who will get naked at the drop of a hat, gets grilled. Kenny hates the French and the fact that Gilles is prostituting himself, you know, flaunting what he doesn't have. Which is pasty, ghost-white skin and/or a cobra chest tattoo. We all can't be perfect.

First safe couple:

Gilles & Cheryl (He shrieks... and the hairs on Mark's head stand up.)

Pick a Pro

Afton DelGrosso & Cody Linley: Samba

Cody says Afton is like Julianne. (You mean you wish she was Julianne!) I don't really remember much of Cody from last season, but he's looking pretty awesome here. There's still something not-a boy, not-yet-a-man about him, but he's no longer looking like a teen Ellen DeGeneres, so that's a good thing, right? He's rocking the moves and has energy to spare. Surprise, surprise. The choreography is also pretty awesome and Afton's definitely not like Julianne. Why? She's not doing all the dancing. Len thinks she's a good teacher. Bruno likes that she made Cody sell himself. Carrie Ann loves her youthful energy.

Mayo Alanen & Lisa Rinna: Quickstep

Mayo's never worked with a celebrity before, while Lisa's got to get used to Mayo's tall body. I've never seen Lisa dance before, but she looks somewhat decent here, especially for someone who hasn't been on the show for a few years. Mayo's definitely showcasing her, uh, assets. Raise your hand if you haven't picked up Playboy. They seem off in a couple of places, but it's a fun little number. Bruno likes that he made the most out of what he had in Lisa. No comment. Carrie Ann thinks they got out of control a little. Len loves the ambition.

Anna Demidova & Maurice Greene: Tango

Maurice picked a dance he'd never done before to see how Anna would teach someone who's never been exposed to it. I like the way he thinks. That's why he's an Olympic champ. Maurice looks pretty good here and maybe even better than when he was with Cheryl. I remember him being inconsistent last season, never quite getting there. (Obviously, since he was eliminated.) But now he looks really suave and the moves are nice and crisp. She definitely accomplished what Maurice challenged her to do and for that, I think she should get the pro spot. Carrie Ann loves the beautiful lines. Len thinks she was the best of the night. Bruno calls her a miracle worker. I would say Cheryl's offended, but Gilles has already taken her somewhere Maurice never did. Backstage, Sam asks the million-dollar question: "What did you find it went with - how'd you find it went with your first chance?" Say wha?!?

Next two safe couples:

Melissa & Tony

Shawn & Mark<

I don't know about you, but I've been looking forward to this episode all season. Why? DanceCenter is back! I'll admit I haven't seen all of them, but the ones I have seen have microscopically enriched my life in a way I didn't know I needed. Can we just have an all DanceCenter episode? Because I can do without the guests and encore. Speaking of encore, the streak is broken! Melissa gets the encore slot with her samba. She's stocked up on the double-sided tape this time. No more under-boob.

Recap time: Oh, Ty! I'm going to miss you when you're gone. "I could tell by the look on her face mommy like," he snickers of his hip-swiveling solo for Jewel. Get him on DanceCenter. Seriously. Lil' Kim say she's happy with her performances, but Derek looks completely peeved. If the bubbly Houghs are deflated, you know it ain't good. Melissa doesn't think there's a dance out there that wasn't flawless? You're too kind. No wonder you weren't a good match for Jason.

DanceCenter

It's back! Seriously, how amazing would it be if Ty joined the panel? Anyhow, he's first up:

Ty, who's apparently made of wood and nearly eight feet tall on a bull, is defying mathematical odds by committing more than 100 percent. Bedazzled and dipped in pink, Kenny appreciates that the show is rewarding poor dancing, which Len calls robotic. Cue Terminator-esque bot.

Next is Kim, she of the lil' height, weight and shoe size and owner of 800 wigs. She does have one huge asset, Kenny points out, as opposed to college-aged Lil' Jerry Rice. Ouch. (By the way, "rear" is not appropriate for this family show, in Kenny's eyes, but Jaime Cullum crooning about cocaine is.)

"Lil'"-er than Lil' Kim is, of course, Shawn, who's beyond adorable as we all know, but is stuck with nutso Mark. They're nuts for each other, of course, like chipmunks! Shawn actually does look like a chipmunk. Her voice is also, like, a nozzle of helium away from chipmunk-nese.

Melissa, at pretty height and weight, has endured so much pain and mistreatment on TV... from Tony. Bastard laughed at her injury! But who cares when she put on, clearly, the best performance yet with her jive. "Excellent use of denim," Jerry says. You mean, lack thereof. There was a missed opportunity here not to call out the Crest Whitestrips twins out on their resemblance.

Last but not least, Gilles, who will get naked at the drop of a hat, gets grilled. Kenny hates the French and the fact that Gilles is prostituting himself, you know, flaunting what he doesn't have. Which is pasty, ghost-white skin and/or a cobra chest tattoo. We all can't be perfect.

First safe couple:

Gilles & Cheryl (He shrieks... and the hairs on Mark's head stand up.)

Pick a Pro

Afton DelGrosso & Cody Linley: Samba

Cody says Afton is like Julianne. (You mean you wish she was Julianne!) I don't really remember much of Cody from last season, but he's looking pretty awesome here. There's still something not-a boy, not-yet-a-man about him, but he's no longer looking like a teen Ellen DeGeneres, so that's a good thing, right? He's rocking the moves and has energy to spare. Surprise, surprise. The choreography is also pretty awesome and Afton's definitely not like Julianne. Why? She's not doing all the dancing. Len thinks she's a good teacher. Bruno likes that she made Cody sell himself. Carrie Ann loves her youthful energy.

Mayo Alanen & Lisa Rinna: Quickstep

Mayo's never worked with a celebrity before, while Lisa's got to get used to Mayo's tall body. I've never seen Lisa dance before, but she looks somewhat decent here, especially for someone who hasn't been on the show for a few years. Mayo's definitely showcasing her, uh, assets. Raise your hand if you haven't picked up Playboy. They seem off in a couple of places, but it's a fun little number. Bruno likes that he made the most out of what he had in Lisa. No comment. Carrie Ann thinks they got out of control a little. Len loves the ambition.

Anna Demidova & Maurice Greene: Tango

Maurice picked a dance he'd never done before to see how Anna would teach someone who's never been exposed to it. I like the way he thinks. That's why he's an Olympic champ. Maurice looks pretty good here and maybe even better than when he was with Cheryl. I remember him being inconsistent last season, never quite getting there. (Obviously, since he was eliminated.) But now he looks really suave and the moves are nice and crisp. She definitely accomplished what Maurice challenged her to do and for that, I think she should get the pro spot. Carrie Ann loves the beautiful lines. Len thinks she was the best of the night. Bruno calls her a miracle worker. I would say Cheryl's offended, but Gilles has already taken her somewhere Maurice never did. Backstage, Sam asks the million-dollar question: "What did you find it went with - how'd you find it went with your first chance?" Say wha?!?

Next two safe couples:

Melissa & Tony

Shawn & Mark

That leaves Lil' Kim and Derek, and Ty and Chelsie, who are in fact the bottom two. The obvious choice is Ty, but I'm kind of holding out hope his fan base pulls him through - only because we haven't had a shock elimination yet this season... And we do! Lil' Kim and Derek are out! She's shocked, the audience is shocked. Who isn't, really? Kim should be in the semis because let's face it, Ty has no business being there on dance ability - and he knew it. I think the people most shocked were Ty and Chelsie. She was near tears and Ty looks like he just realized he's still in this thing. And cowboys will inherit the earth.

Kim says she loved the experience and thinks that she brought in different viewers. Derek says he loves the girl and Tom loved watching her dance. Bye, bye, bionic booty!

I don't know about you, but I've been looking forward to this episode all season. Why? DanceCenter is back! I'll admit I haven't seen all of them, but the ones I have seen have microscopically enriched my life in a way I didn't know I needed. Can we just have an all DanceCenter episode? Because I can do without the guests and encore. Speaking of encore, the streak is broken! Melissa gets the encore slot with her samba. She's stocked up on the double-sided tape this time. No more under-boob.

Recap time: Oh, Ty! I'm going to miss you when you're gone. "I could tell by the look on her face mommy like," he snickers of his hip-swiveling solo for Jewel. Get him on DanceCenter. Seriously. Lil' Kim say she's happy with her performances, but Derek looks completely peeved. If the bubbly Houghs are deflated, you know it ain't good. Melissa doesn't think there's a dance out there that wasn't flawless? You're too kind. No wonder you weren't a good match for Jason.

DanceCenter

It's back! Seriously, how amazing would it be if Ty joined the panel? Anyhow, he's first up:

Ty, who's apparently made of wood and nearly eight feet tall on a bull, is defying mathematical odds by committing more than 100 percent. Bedazzled and dipped in pink, Kenny appreciates that the show is rewarding poor dancing, which Len calls robotic. Cue Terminator-esque bot.

Next is Kim, she of the lil' height, weight and shoe size and owner of 800 wigs. She does have one huge asset, Kenny points out, as opposed to college-aged Lil' Jerry Rice. Ouch. (By the way, "rear" is not appropriate for this family show, in Kenny's eyes, but Jaime Cullum crooning about cocaine is.)

"Lil'"-er than Lil' Kim is, of course, Shawn, who's beyond adorable as we all know, but is stuck with nutso Mark. They're nuts for each other, of course, like chipmunks! Shawn actually does look like a chipmunk. Her voice is also, like, a nozzle of helium away from chipmunk-nese.

Melissa, at pretty height and weight, has endured so much pain and mistreatment on TV... from Tony. Bastard laughed at her injury! But who cares when she put on, clearly, the best performance yet with her jive. "Excellent use of denim," Jerry says. You mean, lack thereof. There was a missed opportunity here not to call out the Crest Whitestrips twins out on their resemblance.

Last but not least, Gilles, who will get naked at the drop of a hat, gets grilled. Kenny hates the French and the fact that Gilles is prostituting himself, you know, flaunting what he doesn't have. Which is pasty, ghost-white skin and/or a cobra chest tattoo. We all can't be perfect.

First safe couple:

Gilles & Cheryl (He shrieks... and the hairs on Mark's head stand up.)

Pick a Pro

Afton DelGrosso & Cody Linley: Samba

Cody says Afton is like Julianne. (You mean you wish she was Julianne!) I don't really remember much of Cody from last season, but he's looking pretty awesome here. There's still something not-a boy, not-yet-a-man about him, but he's no longer looking like a teen Ellen DeGeneres, so that's a good thing, right? He's rocking the moves and has energy to spare. Surprise, surprise. The choreography is also pretty awesome and Afton's definitely not like Julianne. Why? She's not doing all the dancing. Len thinks she's a good teacher. Bruno likes that she made Cody sell himself. Carrie Ann loves her youthful energy.

Mayo Alanen & Lisa Rinna: Quickstep

Mayo's never worked with a celebrity before, while Lisa's got to get used to Mayo's tall body. I've never seen Lisa dance before, but she looks somewhat decent here, especially for someone who hasn't been on the show for a few years. Mayo's definitely showcasing her, uh, assets. Raise your hand if you haven't picked up Playboy. They seem off in a couple of places, but it's a fun little number. Bruno likes that he made the most out of what he had in Lisa. No comment. Carrie Ann thinks they got out of control a little. Len loves the ambition.

Anna Demidova & Maurice Greene: Tango

Maurice picked a dance he'd never done before to see how Anna would teach someone who's never been exposed to it. I like the way he thinks. That's why he's an Olympic champ. Maurice looks pretty good here and maybe even better than when he was with Cheryl. I remember him being inconsistent last season, never quite getting there. (Obviously, since he was eliminated.) But now he looks really suave and the moves are nice and crisp. She definitely accomplished what Maurice challenged her to do and for that, I think she should get the pro spot. Carrie Ann loves the beautiful lines. Len thinks she was the best of the night. Bruno calls her a miracle worker. I would say Cheryl's offended, but Gilles has already taken her somewhere Maurice never did. Backstage, Sam asks the million-dollar question: "What did you find it went with - how'd you find it went with your first chance?" Say wha?!?

Next two safe couples:

Melissa & Tony

Shawn & Mark

That leaves Lil' Kim and Derek, and Ty and Chelsie, who are in fact the bottom two. The obvious choice is Ty, but I'm kind of holding out hope his fan base pulls him through - only because we haven't had a shock elimination yet this season... And we do! Lil' Kim and Derek are out! She's shocked, the audience is shocked. Who isn't, really? Kim should be in the semis because let's face it, Ty has no business being there on dance ability - and he knew it. I think the people most shocked were Ty and Chelsie. She was near tears and Ty looks like he just realized he's still in this thing. And cowboys will inherit the earth.

Kim says she loved the experience and thinks that she brought in different viewers. Derek says he loves the girl and Tom loved watching her dance. Bye, bye, bionic booty!

I don't know about you, but I've been looking forward to this episode all season. Why? DanceCenter is back! I'll admit I haven't seen all of them, but the ones I have seen have microscopically enriched my life in a way I didn't know I needed. Can we just have an all DanceCenter episode? Because I can do without the guests and encore. Speaking of encore, the streak is broken! Melissa gets the encore slot with her samba. She's stocked up on the double-sided tape this time. No more under-boob.

Recap time: Oh, Ty! I'm going to miss you when you're gone. "I could tell by the look on her face mommy like," he snickers of his hip-swiveling solo for Jewel. Get him on DanceCenter. Seriously. Lil' Kim say she's happy with her performances, but Derek looks completely peeved. If the bubbly Houghs are deflated, you know it ain't good. Melissa doesn't think there's a dance out there that wasn't flawless? You're too kind. No wonder you weren't a good match for Jason.

DanceCenter

It's back! Seriously, how amazing would it be if Ty joined the panel? Anyhow, he's first up:

Ty, who's apparently made of wood and nearly eight feet tall on a bull, is defying mathematical odds by committing more than 100 percent. Bedazzled and dipped in pink, Kenny appreciates that the show is rewarding poor dancing, which Len calls robotic. Cue Terminator-esque bot.

Next is Kim, she of the lil' height, weight and shoe size and owner of 800 wigs. She does have one huge asset, Kenny points out, as opposed to college-aged Lil' Jerry Rice. Ouch. (By the way, "rear" is not appropriate for this family show, in Kenny's eyes, but Jaime Cullum crooning about cocaine is.)

"Lil'"-er than Lil' Kim is, of course, Shawn, who's beyond adorable as we all know, but is stuck with nutso Mark. They're nuts for each other, of course, like chipmunks! Shawn actually does look like a chipmunk. Her voice is also, like, a nozzle of helium away from chipmunk-nese.

Melissa, at pretty height and weight, has endured so much pain and mistreatment on TV... from Tony. Bastard laughed at her injury! But who cares when she put on, clearly, the best performance yet with her jive. "Excellent use of denim," Jerry says. You mean, lack thereof. There was a missed opportunity here not to call out the Crest Whitestrips twins out on their resemblance.

Last but not least, Gilles, who will get naked at the drop of a hat, gets grilled. Kenny hates the French and the fact that Gilles is prostituting himself, you know, flaunting what he doesn't have. Which is pasty, ghost-white skin and/or a cobra chest tattoo. We all can't be perfect.

First safe couple:

Gilles & Cheryl (He shrieks... and the hairs on Mark's head stand up.)

Pick a Pro

Afton DelGrosso & Cody Linley: Samba

Cody says Afton is like Julianne. (You mean you wish she was Julianne!) I don't really remember much of Cody from last season, but he's looking pretty awesome here. There's still something not-a boy, not-yet-a-man about him, but he's no longer looking like a teen Ellen DeGeneres, so that's a good thing, right? He's rocking the moves and has energy to spare. Surprise, surprise. The choreography is also pretty awesome and Afton's definitely not like Julianne. Why? She's not doing all the dancing. Len thinks she's a good teacher. Bruno likes that she made Cody sell himself. Carrie Ann loves her youthful energy.

Mayo Alanen & Lisa Rinna: Quickstep

Mayo's never worked with a celebrity before, while Lisa's got to get used to Mayo's tall body. I've never seen Lisa dance before, but she looks somewhat decent here, especially for someone who hasn't been on the show for a few years. Mayo's definitely showcasing her, uh, assets. Raise your hand if you haven't picked up Playboy. They seem off in a couple of places, but it's a fun little number. Bruno likes that he made the most out of what he had in Lisa. No comment. Carrie Ann thinks they got out of control a little. Len loves the ambition.

Anna Demidova & Maurice Greene: Tango

Maurice picked a dance he'd never done before to see how Anna would teach someone who's never been exposed to it. I like the way he thinks. That's why he's an Olympic champ. Maurice looks pretty good here and maybe even better than when he was with Cheryl. I remember him being inconsistent last season, never quite getting there. (Obviously, since he was eliminated.) But now he looks really suave and the moves are nice and crisp. She definitely accomplished what Maurice challenged her to do and for that, I think she should get the pro spot. Carrie Ann loves the beautiful lines. Len thinks she was the best of the night. Bruno calls her a miracle worker. I would say Cheryl's offended, but Gilles has already taken her somewhere Maurice never did. Backstage, Sam asks the million-dollar question: "What did you find it went with - how'd you find it went with your first chance?" Say wha?!?

Next two safe couples:

Melissa & Tony

Shawn & Mark

That leaves Lil' Kim and Derek, and Ty and Chelsie, who are in fact the bottom two. The obvious choice is Ty, but I'm kind of holding out hope his fan base pulls him through - only because we haven't had a shock elimination yet this season... And we do! Lil' Kim and Derek are out! She's shocked, the audience is shocked. Who isn't, really? Kim should be in the semis because let's face it, Ty has no business being there on dance ability - and he knew it. I think the people most shocked were Ty and Chelsie. She was near tears and Ty looks like he just realized he's still in this thing. And cowboys will inherit the earth.

Kim says she loved the experience and thinks that she brought in different viewers. Derek says he loves the girl and Tom loved watching her dance. Bye, bye, bionic booty!