AceShowbiz - Crystal Hefner admitted that she was never "in love" with Hugh Hefner. Though so, the model believed that there was nothing wrong with marrying the founder of Playboy magazine because "everything has a price."

The 37-year-old made the honest confession when speaking to PEOPLE. "I realized I was dealing with a really big power imbalance," she said. "It seemed like a world of success and fantasy, but everyone's having to sleep with an 80-year-old. There's a price. Everything has a price."

Crystal made it clear that she did have love for Hugh. The reality TV star, who was wed to Hugh from 2012 until he died in 2017, even served as his caregiver in his final years.

In the wake of Hugh's death, Crystal sought therapy to unpack her relationship with her late husband as well as experiences living in the Playboy Mansion. "Therapy really helped," she told Us Weekly. "You start backtracking and [noticing] different behaviors."

"I'm like, 'Oh, that's gaslighting. That's narcissism.' It took years for me to understand what I went through, understand myself and also understand Hef and why he did certain things," she added. "You know, there's a story behind everything."

"Your value is what you look like. I was rewarded for being codependent and feeling like I was nothing without Hef and had no value of my own," Crystal, who plans to share her story in her new book "Only Say Good Things: Surviving Playboy and Finding Myself", continued. "You're rewarded for not having a life of your own outside of the person. I've learned a lot about self-worth, self-love, advocating for yourself and healthy relationships."

Meanwhile, in an interview with the New York Post, Crystal shared, "It's called 'Only Say Good Things' because I [had] a conversation with Hef and he let me know, 'Once I go, when I'm gone, please only say good things about me.' " She added, "I kept that promise for the last five years. After going through a lot of therapy and healing, I realized that I needed to be honest about my time there. The book is about healing from a toxic environment."

Crystal was 21 and Hefner was 81 when they first started dating, and she says it's taken professional help to untangle her complicated feelings about their relationship. She explained, "It was very, very fast. I think he had a lot of experience with just moving people in [to the mansion] right away. The 'I love yous' started pretty quick. I've learned all about love bombing since then."