AceShowbiz - Mo'Nique has tearfully explained why she hid her sexuality. The "Almost Christmas" actress has reflected on her past experience of keeping her sexuality a secret from her family to prevent her religious grandmother from recognizing herself a failure for having a gay grandchild.
In her new Netflix stand-up comedy special "My Name Is Mo'Nique", the 55-year-old could not hold back her tears as she shared her story. "And I felt cowardly when my grandmother left, because I couldn't tell my grandmother who her granddaughter really was," she confessed.
The "Interwoven" actress additionally explained the relationship she had with her grandma by saying, "I adored how she adored me. When we would walk into the store, if I was on a magazine cover, she made sure everybody in that fucking store knew that I was her grandchild, and I was her prize."
On the reasons why she hid her sexuality, Mo'Nique elaborated, "So I couldn't tell my grandmother my secret thoughts and my fantasies because I didn't want her to love me privately, and I did not want her to leave this Earth thinking that she was a failure. Because had I told her my secret thoughts, she would have left thinking she had failed."
"But I kept that secret, and I promised myself I wouldn't ever tell anyone that. I would take that to my grave, because I saw how they treated the people in my family with that disease - because they made us believe it was a disease," the "Bessie" actress further divulged.
After years of hiding her sexuality, she could finally open up about it to her husband Sidney Hicks. She explained, "I'm so scared, because I'm saying, 'Please, when I tell you, don't walk away from me - because it'll take my breath away. But I gotta tell you, because you know me, you know when something ain't right?' And something hasn't been right for years."
"But because I'm a celebrity, a star, I could mask it. I could mask it with my pretty things. But that night, the mask had to come off," she added. On how her confession to her husband went, she described, "I said, 'daddy, I want to be with another woman sexually,' and he looked at me so beautifully and so patient and so loving and said, 'B***h, me too.' "
In the special, the "Precious: Based on the Novel PUSH by Sapphire" actress stated, "When you're born with that, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. Nothing. And please understand that I tried." However, she also made it clear that she is "not all the way" lesbian.
Mo'Nique and Sidney tied the knot in 2006. The two had 17-year-old twin sons Jonathan and David together. At the beginning of March, the comedian revealed her decision to end her open marriage with her husband to The Hollywood Reporter. "Life began to happen. I began to see a strength I had never seen before. He loved me at my worst. I didn't want to sacrifice that just for a lay. So I grew out of that," she declared.