Cara Delevingne Struggled With 'Internalised Homophobia' Before Embracing Her Sexuality
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The 'Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets' actress thought she was abnormal and wanted to kill herself as she was struggling to come to terms with her sexuality.

AceShowbiz - Cara Delevingne felt suicidal due to struggles with her sexuality. Worried she was "abnormal" when she was questioning her own identity, the 30-year-old model-and-actress - who identifies as queer and gender fluid - is "so glad" she didn't take her own life because she's now in a position to help and support other young people who are in the same state of confusion as she was.

"I couldn't talk to anyone about it. I had a lot of internalised homophobia and shame. I thought that I was abnormal. I thought about ending my life, like I had multiple times, and I'm so glad I didn't because if I can help any other kid that means the world to me. It means the world to that little queer kid I was. Or I am," she said.

The "Suicide Squad" actress previously declared herself to be bisexual and then pansexual, but she's now settled on queer. Speaking on her new documentary "Planet Sex with Cara Delevingne", she said, "I kind of started as bisexual, and then I was pansexual. I felt like 'I don't know what letter I am! Queer felt fluid and free."

"It didn't put too much pressure on anything I was deciding to be... Sexuality is definitely a spectrum, and I feel like mine wavers, but I'm definitely more on the side of women. I like having sex with men, I just don't date them."

While Cara is "proud to be a woman," she doesn't want to "sit in a box" and admitted she enjoys "dressing up as a man and being a "he" too. She said on the show, "I am a 'she' right now. But I also like dressing up as a man and being a 'he.' You don't have to put so much pressure on yourself about what you are, who you are. Whether it's masculine and feminine, it's just who I am..."

"The constructs and binaries that are given are stupid. I'm proud to be a woman, but I don't have to sit in a box. I'm definitely genderfluid. I love playing with what we've been given as those gender constructs. Being super femme, being super masc, mixing it all up in one big cauldron."

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