The 'Industry Baby' star opens up on his struggle with mental health issues as he says he suffered severe anxiety during early stardom when his single became a huge hit.
- Sep 17, 2021
AceShowbiz - Rapper Lil Nas X had such terrible anxiety when "Old Town Road" became a global hit he was convinced he was going to die.
The "Industry Baby" star was grieving his grandmother's death when his country-inspired track took off in 2019, and he was sure he was going to follow her.
Speaking to Zane Lowe on the Apple Music 1 podcast on Thursday (16Sep21), he said, "The entire time I was making music, I thought soon I was going to die for some reason. Worst anxiety period. I lost my grandmother, (who) was the first person that was close to me that I had ever lost. I was like, 'Oh my God, everything's building up.' "
"And then especially when Old Town Road blew up, I was like, 'Oh, I'm definitely dying soon!' All of these artists (who) were coming into, or starting to pop into the music industry were passing away (and) I was like, 'What the f**k is happening?' "
He credits music for helping keep his spirits up during his darkest days.
"That's another thing music was for me, though," he added. "It was something I love, but it was also a distraction from those thoughts."
However, he was wary of homophobia within hip-hop community. It's partly the reason why he rarely talked about the issues as he feared it would lead to scary experiences.
"The honest truth is, I don't want to speak on a lot of the homophobia within rap because I feel like this is a very dangerous playing field...," he previously said. "It's more for my own safety rather than anything else."
