Though wishing that she did not lie about terminating her pregnancy, the author of 'Hope, Grace, and Faith' vows to 'rise above the decision' she made and to 'learn from that experience.'
- Apr 28, 2020
AceShowbiz - Leah Messer has opened up about one big lie she made in the past. Years after disguising her abortion as miscarriage in the Season 4 premiere of "Teen Mom 2", the TV personality came forward with the truth in a new memoir titled "Hope, Grace, & Faith" and blamed her low self esteem for the distortion.
Making headlines with her shocking revelation even before her book hit the shelves, the 28-year-old reality star disclosed the real reason behind her deceit in a candid interview. "I had very low self esteem at that point in my life and I 100 percent allowed others to control my decision making," she told PEOPLE.
While she now regrets covering up her abortion with a miscarriage story, the mother of three claimed she at the time believed she miscarried her baby with then-fiance Jeremy Calvert. "I truly, wholeheartedly felt like I convinced myself that that's really what was happening," she stated.
On why she chose to terminate her pregnancy, Leah shared in her memoir that she wasn't ready to have a child with Calvert, whom she later shares 7-year-old Adalynn. Her uncertain feelings for ex-husband Corey Simms, who is also a father to her 10-year-old twins Aliannah and Aleeah, also burdened her at the time.
"I was devastated," she wrote. "Having a baby with Jeremy would be the end of any chance Corey and I had of making things work for our family. I was sad for myself, but mostly I was sad for our girls. I knew I had f**ked up, and I felt like I had ruined their lives on top of mine."
As for now, Leah wished she had courage to tell the truth. "Looking back now, I just wish I would have owned it. I wish I would've owned what was going on," she confided. "[I wish I hadn't been] fearful of what everyone was going to say … but I'm not going to dwell on the decision I made at that time. I'm going to rise above the decision I made and learn from that experience."
Noting that she would "own it all" if she was "going to tell [her] own story and [her] own truth," Leah said, "That was the whole purpose behind the writing process, the passion behind my book, all the drive that I had behind it. [I wanted to] open up and allow others to see all the imperfections, because it's okay. We're perfectly imperfect and we get to embrace every imperfection that comes our way, all the adversity, no matter what."
