AceShowbiz - Kourtney Kardashian is having mixed feelings ahead of her 40th birthday. The oldest Kardashian sibling seemingly wasn't ready to accept the reality that she would be turning 40 soon.
In a new clip of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" season 17, Kourtney breaks down in tears as she opens up to Khloe Kardashian about her feelings. "It almost makes you analyze like, where you’re at in your life. It’s just giving me anxiety," she explains to Khloe.
Khloe asks Kourtney which parts of her life she's referring to. Khloe then says that since launching her lifestyle website Poosh, she wishes she "had more time."
Attempting to calm her sister down, Khloe says, "Don't we all?" to which Kourtney responds, "I feel like I want to cry." Kourtney, however, can't really pinpoint what is it about her upcoming birthday that's stressing her out. " 'Cause then I’m like, I have so much and I should just be so happy," she says.
When asked if she's not happy, the mother of three says, "I mean, I am." She continues saying, "Sometimes I'm like, I'll just do stupid s**t to distract from really thinking about stuff that is maybe more important. I don't know. But then half of me is like, live your life. Have fun."
Khloe then asks Kourtney to focus on the present and do whatever it is that makes her happy. She tells her sister, "If you're happy, that's all that should matter for any of us," before adding, "But I really don't think your soul is happy…I think you feel incomplete somewhere. But you're scared."
An insider previously told PEOPLE that Kourtney was initially reluctant to turn 40, though she's now embracing the milestone. "When she talked about turning 40 a while back, she didn't seem too excited… Turning 40 is a big deal," said the source back in April. "But instead of seeing it as something negative, Kourtney turned it around and she seems very excited about her life just in general."
"She feels great about many things that she has accomplished so far… She is very excited about Poosh," the insider continued. "She has been very focused on it. She has a small team that helps out, but she's putting in many hours making sure her site is fun, educational and features brands that she loves."
"Keeping Up with the Kardashians" season 17 will air this fall on E!.