Having been married to wife Jessica for 20 years, the 'Selma' actor claims that the two of them never go to bed upset with each other and always put their relationship as the center of their life.

• Feb 16, 2019

AceShowbiz - The rules David Oyelowo and his wife set when they wed 20 years ago have kept the couple strong and happy.

The actor reveals he and Jessica vowed spend no more than two weeks apart and never to go to bed upset with each other - and those tricks have kept their marriage strong.

"When we were getting married, something we agreed to, is actually a biblical passage which is 'do not let the sun go down on your wrath'," he explains, "so we never let our head hit the pillow if we've had any kind of argument or dispute without hashing it out and getting to the point where we can truthfully in a heartfelt way say, 'I love you'."

"That's something we maintain… What can happen in relationships is you have some kind of argument and it just escalates and grows if you don't nip it in the bud and figure out what it's actually about, so we're pretty good about that."

The "Selma" star and his wife also promised each other that their relationship would always be central to their marriage - not their future kids.

"My wife and I have four children. The marriage is the centre, the kids are a welcome addition," he says. "If you make them the centre, it causes them to be insecure because they think they are the lone reason their parents are together. Before you know it, they're gonna leave us and you're going to have forgotten what you actually saw in each other because you've turned all your focus onto your children."

"Things like that have kept us on a firm footing."

David's rules often mean he's travelling a lot, just so he can spend time with his family when he's filming on location, like he was was while shooting new mini-series Les Miserables.

"I was on a plane every 13th day to be back home," he adds. "Sometimes I'd be home for 36 hours and I'd turn around and go back to Brussels (Belgium). That's important to me. I never want to be an absent father."

"My children have been on set with me and we've been to so many interesting places - taking them to orphanages in Uganda when I did this film 'Queen of Katwe' was a big one, being very privileged kids living in L.A. That was a big eye opener for them. We saw real poverty and I think that's a good thing for kids who have plenty, to see."

"We had an amazing time in Brussels in this beautiful forest; we would just walk through the forest together as a family."