Travis Barker Talks About Drug Abuse and Being 'Borderline Suicidal'
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The Blink-182 drummer discusses his journey of self discovery including his battle with depression after the 2008 plane crash.

AceShowbiz - %cTravis Barker% gets candid about his past in a revealing interview with Billboard to promote his memoir "Can I Say". The %cBlink-182% drummer opens up about drug abuse, suicidal thoughts, and post-traumatic stress following a near-fatal plane crash in 2008.

The 39-year-old father of two recalled his dark days in 2004, "I was so addicted to Oxycodone, and I had a security that would actually sleep during the day and then stay up at night to make sure I was breathing. That was pretty pathetic."

"I had this moment when I got to Europe for that tour where I really identified myself as a dumpster. And I wasn't proud. I was scared. I had to call [Blink-182 member] Mark [Hoppus] and say, 'Hey, man. I'm like borderline suicidal. I'm going crazy. I need to go home,' " he added.

Barker also talked about his struggle with survivor's guilt after the plane accident. "I was on all these crazy crazy bipolar drugs too cause I was suicidal in the hospital, masking everything from the pain of thinking, 'Are my friends dead? Do you have to amputate my foot?' I was completely done," he remembered.

He credited his children for helping him get through the depression. "They were all I hung out with, especially afterwards. I was a little cuckoo for a minute too. I didn't leave the house. I was afraid if I left the house something would fall out of the sky and hit me. I was just waiting for some ill sh*t to happen all the time. So I just wanted to stay cooped up in the house with them until I got to my healthy state," he said.

The drummer also said he and Adam "%cDJ AM%" Goldstein, the only other survivor, became each other's support system. So when DJ AM was found dead from a suspected drug overdose, he was devastated. "He was my best friend. It was beyond friendship," he said. "And then losing him and just wondering, 'F*ck, is there something I could have done?' It was like the one thing that will never stop resurfacing in my head."

Now Travis Barker who is currently dating %cRita Ora% is in a better place. "I'm not on any medications. I haven't seen a post-traumatic doctor in six years. I get so much love and happiness out of playing music and playing the drums and my kids. There's nothing better. I couldn't ask for more," he explained.

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