Selena Gomez Opens Up About Her Rehab and Why She Stops Using Instagram
Selena Gomez may be the Queen of Instagram, but she has stopped using the application for more than three months. The "Good for You" hitmaker reveals that her assistant has since posted on her behalf.
"As soon as I became the most followed person on Instagram, I sort of freaked out. It had become so consuming to me. It's what I woke up to and went to sleep to. I was an addict, and it felt like I was seeing things I didn't want to see, like it was putting things in my head that I didn't want to care about. I always end up feeling like s**t when I look at Instagram," Selena tells Vogue's April issue, "Which is why I'm kind of under the radar, ghosting it a bit."
According to the "Hands to Myself" hitmaker, she deleted the app from her phone after she entered rehabilitation center and she doesn't know the password for her account. "People so badly wanted me to be authentic, and when that happened, finally, it was a huge release. I'm not different from what I put out there," she shares, "I've been very vulnerable with my fans, and sometimes I say things I shouldn't. But I have to be honest with them. I feel that's a huge part of why I'm where I am."
Selena decided to seek treatment after cancelling her "Revival Tour" last summer. "Tours are a really lonely place for me. My self-esteem was shot. I was depressed, anxious. I started to have panic attacks right before getting onstage, or right after leaving the stage," she explains, "Basically I felt I wasn't good enough, wasn't capable. I felt I wasn't giving my fans anything, and they could see it-which, I think, was a complete distortion."
The "Same Old Love" singer goes on, "I was so used to performing for kids. At concerts I used to make the entire crowd raise up their pinkies and make a pinky promise never to allow anybody to make them feel that they weren't good enough. Suddenly I have kids smoking and drinking at my shows, people in their 20s, 30s, and I'm looking into their eyes, and I don't know what to say. I couldn't say, 'Everybody, let's pinky-promise that you're beautiful!' It doesn't work that way, and I know it because I'm dealing with the same s**t they're dealing with."
"What I wanted to say is that life is so stressful, and I get the desire to just escape it. But I wasn't figuring my own stuff out, so I felt I had no wisdom to share," she adds, "And so maybe I thought everybody out there was thinking, 'This is a waste of time.' "
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