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R. Kelly Reveals Childhood Abuse, Jay-Z McBeef and Tragic First Love in 'Soulacoaster'

June 29, 2012, 3:59 am GMT

The 'I Believe I Can Fly' crooner unveils when his sexual abuse happened, how he calmed himself when feeling frustrated with Jigga, and what killed his childhood girlfriend.



R. Kelly's book "Soulacoaster: The Diary of Me" is officially out. In the memoir, the R&B singer opens up about falling victim to sexual abuse when he was a child, having a feud with his tourmate Jay-Z in their joint tour, and remembering his first girlfriend who was drowned when they were playing near a creek during one of their playdates.

He revisited the days when he was 8 and grew up in a house full of women who acted "differently" when the older ones were absent. He was forced to watch and take pictures by one of the women when she and her partner had sex. Another woman, 10 years his senior, sexually abused him for years, but he "was too afraid and too ashamed" to tell anyone.

Talking about his altercation with Hov while they were promoting their joint album "The Best of Both Worlds", Kelly claimed he was so upset that he stormed offstage and went to McDonald's. "But this time, I didn't go eat. I asked the guy working the drive-through window for a uniform, and for the next three hours, I served Big Macs, fries and Cokes to customers," he recounted.

About his childhood sweetheart Lulu, the "I Believe I Can Fly" hitmaker called her his very-first musical inspiration. He remembered they always held hand, played house and "vowed to be boyfriend and girlfriend forever," until one day she was pushed into the water by some bullies. He remembered she screamed his name before being swept by strong current.

Kelly additionally talked about his celibacy after proposing to his then-girlfriend, now ex-wife Andrea. His inspiration to write "I Believe I Can Fly", his teary encounter with Notorious B.I.G., his dyslexia diagnosis, and his dream to be a basketball player were all revealed in the newly-released book as well.

Kelly is currently seeking treatment in Chicago for complications from a throat surgery he had last year. He was supposed to appear on "Today" show on June 28 and "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" on the following day, but was forced to scrap them all. He also missed his book launch party in New York City.

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